Hello Love Bugs!!
I hope you are all doing well. It has been such a long time!
I had the wonderful pleasure of snagging a job in my desired career. While I am extremely happy to be out of health care, I have gone from being the majority to being in my minority.
My company is becoming more diversified though. Just the other day I walked by a fellow African American who was a new hire. We smiled and she let me know: “I love your hair!”
Of course I thanked her and went on about my way. After being natural for 7 years, I am use to the complements but this one stuck out to me. Simply because I have been at my job for 4 months and it is the first time someone mentioned my hair.
I immediately began to wonder: “Do white people like natural black hair?”
I recall only one other occasional this past year when a white person paid me a compliment. I was at a restaurant and our greeter looked at me and proclaimed excitedly: “Oh I love your hair! It looks so soft I just want to touch it!” At that point she began to hover over my head and started making motions of what she would be doing if she could play in hair.
This of course happened a month or so after I watched “Dear White People”. As portrayed in the movie, I have always envisioned white people wanting to play in my hair with amazement. Maybe anytime a white person looks as if they are interested in my hair I instantly mean mug them, stereotyping.
I have never had a white person touch my hair. I have had multiple black people touch my hair. I can not tell you how many times I have had some person come up to me and grab a curl, rub my hair, grab and sniff my hair, etc etc.
So- Just because you are black does not mean you can touch my hair! We always joke about white people doing it, but it is a rule for everyone. Black, White, Pink, Purple, Woman, Man, Natural, Weave, etc etc etc. No one should touch my hair. In fact don’t ask to touch my hair. Simply ask what you want to know.
Want to know how long it is? I will stretch a curl out to show you. Want to know if it is my hair that smells like coconut? I will answer yes and tell you the product. Ask if you can touch it? I will tell you no.
So let’s remember….don’t fall into stereotypes or do things you stereotype another race for doing.